this is my working life. noise. noise all the time.
in noisy hell inc., we specialize in generating the most unbearable sounds. come visit us and get one headache, free!
below, a list the noises i heard today, in the order as they were shown. an exercise i wanted to do today as a therapy. i mean, i need to find the funny side of all the situations of my life before they drive me crazy.
1) something like a jackhammer. i remember bugs bunny using one to annoy people. btw, i never liked bugs bunny.
2) that... that's like a... a microwave. the volume is raised to the 8th power.
3) sounds like a giant vacuum.
4) an alarm. on a cell phone. nobody seems to be bothered. why nobody turns it off?
5) somebody is whistling... something that appears to be a remix of the 9th symphony of beethoven with the barber seville overture. obviously, he knows only those few seconds of each play, and he mixes them in his whistle. resulting in a 15 seconds track, which as soon as it finishes, starts again. finishing and starting, until eternity.
6) hits. they are hitting something over and over again. slowly and heavily.
7) the people here scream the name of someone when needed.
8) a klaxon that sounds for a looooooong period of... 10, 20 seconds? forever?
9) a car running with a broken engine.
10) what the fuck is that? sounds like a rattle connected to an amplifier.
11) little sound of... keys? clin clin clin clin clin clin. not exactly keys, but how to explain?
12) ammm. dunno how to describe this. it's like an elephant with a cold, blowing his nose.
13) they're like scrubbing the floor.
(needless to say, there's no point in playing some music. is drowned out by each one of the noises described in this inventory).
14) something's like that fuckin machine that the dentists use. it's a similar noise, but in loud volume.
15) that's like a vacuum in reverse. i mean, like pouring air instead of absorbing. intermittent sound.
16) a klaxon again. this time, it sounds multiple one-second times.
17) a police car or an ambulance. the siren is heard first far, then near. it's getting closer, it's getting closer... it's getting farther, it's getting farther.
18) it seems they are the blades of a helicopter. or something.
19) wtfffff. someone's dropped a heavy metal object. god. save. me.
20) plus all the noise of the devil here, as if that was not enough, one of my co workers has a horrible sound when he receives a text. is the universe teasing me? why a person would choose a whatsapp alert like that? it's like.... it feels like someone making a hole in your brain with a screwdriver.
note.- after writing this, i asked him what a hell was that. it results to be the sound it makes when goku goes sayan. i found it on youtube: click at your own risk.
in noisy hell inc., we specialize in generating the most unbearable sounds. come visit us and get one headache, free!
below, a list the noises i heard today, in the order as they were shown. an exercise i wanted to do today as a therapy. i mean, i need to find the funny side of all the situations of my life before they drive me crazy.
noisy hell inc. = the company i work for = my daily nightmare
1) something like a jackhammer. i remember bugs bunny using one to annoy people. btw, i never liked bugs bunny.
2) that... that's like a... a microwave. the volume is raised to the 8th power.
3) sounds like a giant vacuum.
4) an alarm. on a cell phone. nobody seems to be bothered. why nobody turns it off?
5) somebody is whistling... something that appears to be a remix of the 9th symphony of beethoven with the barber seville overture. obviously, he knows only those few seconds of each play, and he mixes them in his whistle. resulting in a 15 seconds track, which as soon as it finishes, starts again. finishing and starting, until eternity.
6) hits. they are hitting something over and over again. slowly and heavily.
7) the people here scream the name of someone when needed.
8) a klaxon that sounds for a looooooong period of... 10, 20 seconds? forever?
9) a car running with a broken engine.
10) what the fuck is that? sounds like a rattle connected to an amplifier.
11) little sound of... keys? clin clin clin clin clin clin. not exactly keys, but how to explain?
12) ammm. dunno how to describe this. it's like an elephant with a cold, blowing his nose.
13) they're like scrubbing the floor.
(needless to say, there's no point in playing some music. is drowned out by each one of the noises described in this inventory).
14) something's like that fuckin machine that the dentists use. it's a similar noise, but in loud volume.
15) that's like a vacuum in reverse. i mean, like pouring air instead of absorbing. intermittent sound.
16) a klaxon again. this time, it sounds multiple one-second times.
17) a police car or an ambulance. the siren is heard first far, then near. it's getting closer, it's getting closer... it's getting farther, it's getting farther.
18) it seems they are the blades of a helicopter. or something.
19) wtfffff. someone's dropped a heavy metal object. god. save. me.
20) plus all the noise of the devil here, as if that was not enough, one of my co workers has a horrible sound when he receives a text. is the universe teasing me? why a person would choose a whatsapp alert like that? it's like.... it feels like someone making a hole in your brain with a screwdriver.
note.- after writing this, i asked him what a hell was that. it results to be the sound it makes when goku goes sayan. i found it on youtube: click at your own risk.
21) like a drill unable to bore a hole in a unbreakable plate.
22) some kind of a 90's hairdryer. a giant one.
23) hits. over and over. this time, it's like a hammer hitting a thick metal wall. each hit makes me feel that my eyes are going out of their sockets. some of the other noises that i have described are usually heard in noisy hell inc., almost every day, several times a day. but this horrible hitting sound was never heard before. and it was repeated several times today.
24) something like a lawnmower.
25) the alarm of a car with the door open. lasted about 10-15 minutes drilling my head.
26) i hate. i hate when that happens. someone pressing down the accelerator without the car moving forward. rrrruuuuuummmmm. please kill me.
only 5 minutes to go. noises fade away one by one. there are only a few sounds now. i think i can finally relax. and suddenly.....
27) of course. it's time to go home. why not celebrate turning on a car's stereo blaring? wooo join the party (insert sarcastic emoji here)... puros tamborazos, so my oma would say (it means something like "only ugly drumbeats"). the floor vibrates. my eardrums are going out of my ears. my head will explode. feel hits in my chest.
6 o'clock. don't you dare to believe that i'll stay a minute longer. i will run out of here before somebody has to get me out carrying me. with a straitjacket on.
at home i want a moment of silence. want for a moment not to hear anything but silence, and feel the peace of silence ....... hope to have the luck.
22) some kind of a 90's hairdryer. a giant one.
23) hits. over and over. this time, it's like a hammer hitting a thick metal wall. each hit makes me feel that my eyes are going out of their sockets. some of the other noises that i have described are usually heard in noisy hell inc., almost every day, several times a day. but this horrible hitting sound was never heard before. and it was repeated several times today.
24) something like a lawnmower.
25) the alarm of a car with the door open. lasted about 10-15 minutes drilling my head.
26) i hate. i hate when that happens. someone pressing down the accelerator without the car moving forward. rrrruuuuuummmmm. please kill me.
only 5 minutes to go. noises fade away one by one. there are only a few sounds now. i think i can finally relax. and suddenly.....
27) of course. it's time to go home. why not celebrate turning on a car's stereo blaring? wooo join the party (insert sarcastic emoji here)... puros tamborazos, so my oma would say (it means something like "only ugly drumbeats"). the floor vibrates. my eardrums are going out of my ears. my head will explode. feel hits in my chest.
6 o'clock. don't you dare to believe that i'll stay a minute longer. i will run out of here before somebody has to get me out carrying me. with a straitjacket on.
at home i want a moment of silence. want for a moment not to hear anything but silence, and feel the peace of silence ....... hope to have the luck.
great post!!!
ReplyDeleteAmalia|Dosfarma.com